This is a common phrase I’ve heard throughout my 13 years working with children. Be consistent in your discipline strategy, be consistent in your routines, just simply BE CONSISTENT. This is my trouble. I am one of 4 full time teachers at an international school. I have no one to turn to for advice, ideas, or help. I don’t even have the support of a principal ESL or Sp. Ed. teacher. I have teaching blogs, pinterest, and what I’ve learned in my past experiences. It would be an understatement to say that I’m struggling in my current situation.
I’m not sure where my patience, kindness, and dedication has evaporated to, however it has left me. I constantly find myself angry with the students about things that I would have let slide the day before. I recognize that I’m doing it however I find it really difficult to stop and acknowledge it at the time. I’m planning on taking a course this summer to hopefully get myself back on track.
I find myself wondering if maybe I was never that great to begin with. Maybe the positive feedback I’ve received in the past was simply for show. I find myself wondering whether, if left in the class on my own for longer than the 3-6 weeks I was there for my studies, I would have continued to be the patient, positive, caring teacher I thought I was.
I’m in two minds as to whether I want to “scrap” the rest of this year and use it to test things out for next year. Maybe that is what June is for, once my report cards have been finished and handed in. I’m just finding myself almost in tears when I walk into the room to see my students doing cartwheels or my TAs on their smart phones rather than helping the students.
I’m lost and I’m not sure whether I will be able to find myself again. I see myself forgetting routines, not finding time to do learning centers, scrapping PE because our circle time runs too long. Everything I seem to be doing seems to be whatever the day brings, and that includes my state of mind and the children’s behaviour. I know I should be more consistent and I tell myself every morning. I just can’t seem to push myself to do it.
I need support. I need resources. I need help.